NEW week!

So..I made it through the dreaded day.  It wasn't as bad as I was prepared for it to be, but it wasn't easy.  I'm just glad it's over.

Here is Punkin' and I before church on Sunday in the car. Do you not just love him in his pink polo!?  :P

So glad I got a smile out of him!

He loves to window watch!

This weeks been pretty chill.  Monday was Pops & Aunt Amanda's Birthdays!  We cooked dad dinner (Spaghetti and meatballs, salad, bread & some strawberries and Ed's Bakery chocolate pie for dessert!)  We went to watch the church softball team after dinner.  A few guys in our small group our on the team. It was surprising COLD...but all together fun!

I had my last night of night "class" Tuesday night and Ryder went and spent some time with MiMi & PawPaw @ Aunt Kay's house!  I think they had a good time!

I had my last day of class this  morning, which I am so thankful for!  It seems like the semester FLEEEEEEW by though!  We have just been hanging out at the house today and even went for a little walk in this pretty weather earlier!

He loves his tooties!

He's laughing @ me...haha!  I LOVE HIM!

He is so much fun @ this age!

tomorrow.

tomorrows the day that every newly weds supposed to look forward to.  i looked forward to it for about 2 months and that was it.  then i started to dread the day.  then i started to dread the day even more.  i have been absolutely dreading the day of tomorrow for the past 4 months.  tomorrow is supposed to be a happy day for me.  a celebration.  a celebration of the commitment of two lives becoming one.

there will be no celebration tomorrow.  there will only be sadness and a harsh reminder of hurt & betrayal.

i used to be all about dates, and now i wish i wasn't.  i wish i could just forget dates now, but i can't.  dates of important things always stick with me, and i wish they didn't.  i wish i could forget them and never remember them again.

i used to be able to stalk wedding photography website for hours on end.  its not longer a pleasure for me.  it just causes me hurt and pain.  so many things have been taken from me, and this is only one....one simple thing.

i haven't been to a wedding since.  i used to love going to weddings.  i use to notice and soak in every tiny little detail.  i don't care any more and i wish i did.  i don't care because it hurts to bad to care.  if i care its just a reminder.

tomorrow is a day that i will never "get over".  tomorrow is a day that i will just have to learn to "get through".  maybe it will get easier with each passing year.  but it's still a day that will always make me reflect back on many memories and images that i'll never forget.  sometimes i wish i could forget those too.

looking back, they were happy times.  very happy times.  i was happy.  i really was.  what could i have done wrong?  what DID i do wrong?

i hoped things would  have been over by tomorrow.  but there not.  im afraid they've only just begun.

i write this for myself.  not for a pity-party to be thrown for me or anyone to feel sorry for me.

i'm trying to be more open (to an extent) and honest on here.  i seem pretty happy and cheerful most of the time(which most of the time i am and i can thank a beautiful little baby boy for that), but there are times when i am hurting so bad too, and just sit here and wonder "why me?"

i hope to look back on this one day as a stronger person who has "gotten through" year by year.  i hope that one day tomorrow will be just like any other day.  not a "date" that i can't seemed to forget.

it's may be pretty farfetched but, maybe i can be an inspiration and a "hope" to someone else out there that is faced with something like i've been faced with.  it's not easy.  i knew it wasn't going to be.  sometimes i think it gets easier, but a lot of times it gets harder.

i'm done now.  maybe my writing and venting will help get me through the day.

Dr.'s Appt., Hobby Lobby & Avocados!

I woke up yesterday with one of my crazy throat things going on, and knew I HAD to get into the Doctor THAT day, or I would be back at the ENT getting it drained in a few days.  UGGGH.  This is my worst fear, seriously.  Luckily they could get me in @ 9:30.  I rushed around getting me and Punkin ready & we made it there on time!

        

Being a good boy while mommy talked with the Doctor.  He really was good the whole time!  What a blessing!

Since we were already out we headed to Hobby Lobby to get some stuff for a group project I was doing.

        

   He LOVES Hobby Lobby can't you tell!  =)

We had some avocados in the fridge, and I decided to cute them up and see how Punkin did with them. He had some the other night, but I had given them to him...but he did great picking them up & putting them in his mouth....and seemed to like them too!?

Going for it...Got it...

& into the mouth--SUCCESS! 

While I sit at my desk and get stuff done on the computer, Punkin likes to make his way under my desk and look outside/get into the trash.  Here he is being sweet!  When ever I look at him, he griiiiins and says "AAHHHH!"  Too adorable!

(Ignore his snot!--bugs me to death, but it can't always be wiped!)

check out that big toe...and all the other toes curled under!  HAHA!

He loves his mommy & his mommy loves him!

Georgia Tech!

Punkin & I had a good day today!  He went & stayed with Ms. Lynn & didn't nap for her, and he usually always does!  I thought he would be ready to lay down when we got home...but that wasn't the case either!

I had him in his Georgia Tech shirt that Tonya & Luke got for him for the first time today!  I thought he looked awfully cute!  He represents a whole lot of different schools!  =)

I couldn't get the child to look @ me...he was too interested in the dog!

"What's with all the pics MOM!?"

I love that lil grin!  He is the light of my life!

Standing up after he finally took a nap...with his Pooh!

When I put my makeup on in the floor with him...he is SO interested in my bag and everything inside it! AFter getting tired of saying "No No" a million times, I fianlly just gave him some mascara to play with!

  

Even crawling with it in his hand!

"Look @ me!"

I wore my little Punkin' out driving him all over town.--Really only Target!

I just LOVE those checks!  I could eat them up!

Tonight, Ryder started trying to drink the water from the cup I use to rinse him off in the bath tube.  Not such a good idea.  He also started feeding himself little pieces of banana & avocado.  He does really good with feeding himself so far!  I thought it would take a while to catch on but he's done great!  And you hand that child a cracker...and he nibbles on it till its gone!  He's always gotta have SOMETHING to do!

Oh yeah...my new blog design!  Do ya'll love it!?  I am so happy with it!  Thank you so much Traci for being such a fun and sweet person to work with!

whole lot of catching up...

Saturday we were out @ the ball field most of the afternoon. Punkin' just loves it out there which makes me happy. It is great outside time for us!

Playing with a gum ball for the first time...He quickly learned its something he doesn't want to put in his mouth!

Aunt Kathy came out to the game too! We kept that hat on Punkin' so his head wouldn't get burnt!

Saturday night was Uncle G's Junior Prom. He took Hannah Cooper who lives across the street. I did the whole picture thing for mom...across the street & then at a big place with 11 other couples.

With his Uncle G all dressed up lookin' nice!

So much to see on Hannah's dress! :O

Hannah & G getting on the "Party Bus!"

Punkin' passed out on his Pops...dad has been waiting 7 months for this day!

Sunday me, dad & Ryder got up and headed to Ouachita to watch some baseball and visit some friends. We were originally going because Adam (@ SAU) was playing OBU that weekend and we wanted to get to see him play. Well...Saturday he hurt himself and didn't get to play Sunday. We still made the trip down there though as planned! Dad ended up watching the game and I had lunch with Allie & Josh, and then we went & saw Great Aunt DeeDee! =)

He loves his Auntie Allie! =)

My crazy child climbed OVER the chair rail to get my cell phone...instead of going AROUND! Haha!!

He finally got stuck, and I had to help him out!

Ryder had his first official "Playdate" today! Braxton came over for a little bit and they had a good time together! I haven't gotten to see Ryder interact with other kids much! Braxton is exactly 6 weeks older than Ryder, and by watching them today there is a HUGE difference in that time frame! Braxton can crawl alot faster, and is DEF. into ALOT more things--Pulling open cabinets, drawers etc. I learned that our house is DEF. NOT baby proof! Ha! Braxton used to be alot bigger than Ryder, but now they weight about the same, but Braxton has a few inches on Ryder! Ha! Like I said...6 weeks doesn't seem like alot, but it IS!

Two SWEET boys!

Always sleeping crazy...(excuse the crib! ha!) They actually both went to sleep at the same time!

Braxton napping on his pallet!

Cute lil boys!

Looking outside @ the pretty day!

I am WOOOORN out! Neither one of them were bad, two just MAKES A DIFFERENCE! I don't know how mother's of multiples do it! PHEWWWW!

Book Report due tomorrow...only half way done! But needed to catch up on the weekend first!

...

...so I took my turn & was the sick one this week.

I started feeling bad Tuesday night after dinner, and knew I had gotten the bug. 3 am rolled around and I felt like a new person. Sadly, I had no energy all day Wednesday...and luckily mom took off half a day to help me out with little man. I also missed a test, but luckily got to make it up today.

Ramblings...

-Lil man has mastered putting puff's in his mouth on his own.

-...even 2 or 3 at a time occasionally.

-I gave him yogurt this morning for the first time.

-He is a professional "puller-upper" now...

-He has figured out that everything in the the bookshelf/cubbies are for him....and he can pull it all out!

-He will stand up on the side of his crib, but hasn't quite figured how to get down on his till today...I even saw him holding on for dear life with one hand, and streeeeeetching with his entire body to the other side of the crib to get his pooh without letting go! He did it, and he was SO proud! =)

-I love writing Thank You notes, I just have trouble getting them addressed and stamped and in the mailbox.

-My blog makeover has STARTED...WAHOO! =)

-I haven't had anything other than water to drink in a week! Maybe longer...it makes me feel so much better about myself.

-I have 15 more pounds to go to get back to my pre-baby weight.

-I'm not doing anything in particular, but I wish I was.

-2 more weeks of class.

-Within those two weeks I have a Politics essay due, a diversity group project due, a book report due, school board meeting paper due...AND I think that's it!

-Garrett's Prom is this weekend.

-I can't wait to see all the girl's pretty dresses.

-I so wish they had patterned dresses when I was in HS. I would have had one every year!

-I've finally decided on a theme/color scheme for Ryder's 1st Birthday!

-I can't wait till my friends get married & have babies so I can throw some awesome showers.

-I got all the classes I want for next fall, and this summer!

-Tuesday/Thursdays...UCA will be my best friend.

-I want a CriCut for my birthday. They are BEYOND amazing!

No time for chat...chapters to read & papers to write, and a baby to take care of!

few random things...our weekend & 7 months!

So...I noticed this picture the other day around the house of me and Garrett. I thought to myself "oh my goodness!...who does that LOOK LIKE?" So I snagged the picture up and took a few pictures of it to show you guys! Mom actually made these matching Easter how fits! It had to have taken alot of time and hard effort! The picture of me and Garrett isn't so blurry....I couldn't get a good close up of G. I don't know how old he was here...but he sure does look like Ryder man..or well, Ryder man looks like him!

Garret...lookin' just like Ryder!

Aww...YES-we love each other! =)

Friday night it was B-E-A-Utiful out...so we went to the baseball game, and had a blast as always! (This was BEFORE we knew Ryder was sick! :/) He did great, once again...he just loves being outside with all the sweet mamas!

It got to be a lil chilly...haha!

Pops and Ryder man enjoying the pretty weather outside!

Ryder and his Uncle G...before going out for the night!

7 month stuff....

I can't get the child to be still...so this is as good as it got! ha!

Not wanting to sit still for a pic...crawling all over the place!

None of these are the best either...but @ least he's smiling in this one!

My crazy SWEET boy!

What you're up to this month....

-You are now definitely crawling...every where!

-You are even pulling up on things, such as your crib rail, trashcans, fireplace, barstools, rubbermaid tubs, your car seat....etc.

-You are just talking talking all the time! I'll talk back to you in your voice, and you'll respond! TOO funny!

-You love the church nursery! It's about your morning nap time, but of course you don't sleep!

-Size 2 diapers...but could move up to 3's.

-Can wear 9-12 month clothes, but some 6 month clothes still fit.

-Still eating three solid meals a day, with sometimes a bottle in between.

-You crawl to your Pops & KeeKee every day when they walk in the door!

-Not really into your exer-saucer any more. Too boring I guess when you're mobil!

-You had your first "throw-up" sickness... :(

-You like to take naps with your mommy....or mommy likes to take naps with YOU!

-Sometimes your falling asleep on your back now.

-You JUST figured out how to roll from your back to your stomach the last few days.

-Definitely knows what "No No" means. I have to tell you that when you play with the cords and pull on KeeKee's curtains!

-We went through your first big/moppy carwash today, and you did GREAT!

-You took a "big boy" bath for the first time tonight

-You sit in a highchair whenever we go out to eat now.

-Your eating puffs, bread, tortillas, and sometimes rice.

-You HAVE to have some teeth coming in!!

...sickly

Ryder turned 7 months old yesterday, but that post is going to be post-poned for a few days.

The last 4-5 days Punkin' has had runny poop (instead of solid, which it was ALL the time) & wasn't eating all his meals, baby food or bottle. I was a little worried, but he not too much because he was acting perfectly normal, and playing and laughing & having a good time!

Until Friday...when I went to pick him up from Ms. Lynn's after class, he didn't have a shirt on! OH MY..WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED? He had woken up from his nap and thrown up all over his shirt, pooh blanket, blanket, bib, everything! Poor baby...once again, I didn't think THAT much about it, just thought maybe he had eaten too much or something. Ms. Lynn said he just wasn't acting his normal self...and after a while I seemed to agree.

I drug the poor child to Hobby Lobby and finally back home. He took a great afternoon nap, and then we went to the baseball game at five. He was a trooper the whole time! He ate a bottle and a jar of baby food. By 8:30 he was more than worn out and we came home and he went straight to bed.

Around midnight, I hear him kinda cough...and then the dreaded sound of throwing up. OMG. Not my baby! YES...MY BABY!

He threw up 2 more times between then & 4 am, and finally crashed when there was nothing else to throw up. Poor baby...he seems to be doing so much better this morning. I have been hesitant to give him anything to eat, but I know he is STAAAARRVVVING! His stomach just growled and growled this morning!

Well see how the next 12 hours go...but man! WHAT A MESS!

Pre Easter...Easter...& MORE!

It all started last Thursday when Pooh was headed home from school because they were out of school for Good Friday. She decided to stay the night with us! =) So glad she did! Her & lil man got some good bonding time in, and we even went to Target & let him pick out a toy that she bought him! First of many I'm afraid!

With Auntie Pooh!

That night we went and ate dinner at the Magee's. Charles was also in town with Kelly...and we also got to see Molly! Ms. Donna always cooks something good and we had great fellowship!

Ryder & Charles at dinner.

After dinner we came back here to dye some Easter eggs!

Pre-Egg Dying in Pop's Wampus Cat hat!

"Get that off my head!"

His first egg was green of course...he wanted THAT egg! Ha! He went right to sleep after this!

Kelly, Pooh & me dying some eggs!

Mommy had to get up and go to class the next day (not off for Good Friday @ UCA..no sirr-ee!) Pooh was trying to sleep, and of course lil man woke her up...but she didn't seem to mind! HA!

Chillin' with Pooh....& Tang (the monkey)

Saturday afternoon, after Ryder slept till eleven....yes ELEVEN! We went over to Anna's parent's house for a delicious lunch. Ms. Kelly is quite the cook! We were there for like 4 hours, just catching up and enjoying the BEAUTIFUL weather!

Ms. Kelly let Ryder try a lime for the first time!

...guess he liked it!

He was all over the place...and would not stay still!

Laughin' @ Auntie Anna!

Playing w/ AA!

Ryder, me & Anna!

Sunday morning, we got up and went to the EARLY service, and then came home to get ready to go to Nana & Papaw's in Pangburn.

Punkin's Easter outfit that KeeKee got him!

We found Miss Morgan @ church!

& Coach Mac...he loved your "golfer" outfit!

Me & my lil man...even though he's not looking @ the camera!

Siblings & nephew/son!

my SWEET BOY!

playing with KeeKee's flowers!

with his KeeKee & Pop's!

with Sterling & Aidan @ Nana's

Grandkids! & great-grand son!

look @ those wrinkles in that forehead! :O

With Benjamin!

Punkin' getting the stuff out of his Easter basket!

He dug right in...no holding back for him! He knew what to do!

He got some really cool bubbles-

...& a few sesame street characters that we knew he would chew on!

more books! & an ELMO DVD!

We let him crawl around and "find" some eggs!

He wanted to hold them all...but he just couldn't! We call him "Gimme Hands!"

This is a caterpillar shaped egg...we had lots of other bugs to thanks to Aunt Linda Sue!

Yes...he is about to put that in his bucket!...

TA-DA! He is so advanced! lol...just kidding! But no...REALLY!?

This are just a few randoms from today...

He tumped the trashcan over, and then pulled up on top of it!

I let him try puffs for the first time, since he seems to handle little breads crumbs fine.

A few actually made it in his mouth...the rest he kept clinched in his fist & THEN they became soggy!

Crazy lil punkin! =)