summer selfiness

I haven't written since the first day of school last fall.  I've had ideas and things I have wanted to share, and things I longed to get out, but wasn't brave enough, or disciplined enough to put down my phone long enough and open my computer to get my thoughts out.

But here I am.

I am spending my summer at home with my not so little any more, guy, Ryder.  He is 6 going on 7...how can that be?!  Early on this summer I found myself doing nothing, because it was summer and I told myself I deserved to relax a little bit...and not do much of anything because I was a teacher and "it was summer!"  I wasn't getting anything done because there was always "tomorrow to get that done."  I became discouraged and angry with myself that I was letting the time pass right before my eyes and I wasn't making the most of my days with R at home with me.  How selfish I was being.

I know there will soon be summers when him hanging out with his mama, is one of the last things he'll want to do.  I told myself I wanted to make this summer, and how ever many summers I have left where it will still be cool to hang out with your mom left, to make the most out of things and provide him with as many memories as I can.

I read another mom's statement she wanted to create/have such an awesome and memorable summer with her kids that they wouldn't want to go back to school.   By this, she didn't mean sending them to extravagant camps each week, spending money on stuff, or going on fancy vacations, but just making solid memories, that they created...together.  What a thought.  

By mid August I know I'll be "ready to go back to school" (but just for a lil while ;))...just because I thrive on routine, and summer does NOT provide that for me...But what an idea, to make your child's summer so memorable and fun for them, that they truly don't want to go back to school.  Not that I want him to not enjoy or dread having to go back to school, but I want him to look back on these summer days that we got to spend together and think, "Wow, those were fun."  I want him to remember his mom getting in the pool and playing with him.  Rollerblading beside him while he biked along the bike trail.  Swinging on the swings with him at the park...heck going to the park in the middle of the day!  Taking him to the track to run to prepare for a triathlon.  Inter-tubing with him out on the lake.  Climbing to waterfall she hasn't hiked to since she was in much better shape.  All things I may or may not have done with him in the past, but things I want him to know I want to do with him...I don't want him to do them alone.  I don't want his memories of these things to be with me in the background.  I want his memories to be with me by his side, as long as he will let me.  I will soon be in the background because it won't be cool to have your mom by your side any more.

Time is flying too fast...I know every parent can relate.

More to come on my brave boy as an only child...