...don't feel sorry for me

so...

alot of you are just now finding out what's been going on in my life for the past 2 months. actually the past 8 months.

if your just now finding out, obviously you never made the effort to stay in touch with me, or with other people who DO stay in touch with me. your JUST now finding out for a REASON. like i said...it's been going on for some time now, and those people who were important enough in my life for me to tell....i told.

don't feel sorry for me. it's actually a good thing in the long run.

don't feel like now's the time you should pick up the phone to connect me or message me...to see "what's up?"

i haven't asked anyone to throw a pity party for me, or anything like that. yeah it's nice to have friends to hang out with & visit them & them visit me...but don't start doing all those sweet & thoughtful things NOW that you've FINALLY found out what's going on in my life. if you REALLY cared & wanted to be apart of my life, you would've been long before now. don't feel like you have to go out of your way to "be there" for me. you weren't there before...so why now?

i'm sure there's alot of rumors going around out there too. so..watch what you say, and don't always believe what you hear. the ones that know me and TALK to me daily or weekly are the ones that know the truth. if it's coming from someone other than them, it's either been made more dramatic than it is, or just totally not true.

don't expect me to spill my heart to you or "lean" on you when you have just now popped up in my life again. again...if you really cared you would have been there BEFORE all this happened.

and...if you don't know how to spell my sons name...then you REALLY don't know me...or my son shouldn't really bother to "be there" for me right now.

again...don't feel sorry for me. the most you can do is to keep me & my family in your prayers, not gossip about me behind my back, OR spread rumors around that AREN'T true.

of course I still consider you my "friends" but not so much my "good friends". good friends would have known about it RIGHT after it all happened. i wish i could call you my good friends but just from certain circumstances my life didn't allow me to have that.

all in all...i don't want you to feel sorry for me. yes, it's not the ideal situation & i never thought this is what my life would hold, but in the long run it's what's best for me and my family & hopefully one day i will look back & be able to say that all the hurt & pain was all worth it. i can already say that i'm so proud of myself. i hadn't thought about myself for the past 12 months...but i now knows that it's okay to think about yourself once & a while, even when you're a mother.

this might have come across as rude, but i had to get it out. and i did. and it's my blog. if you have a problem with it that you would like to further discuss you can shoot me a message.