DONE with school...for now!

I have wanted to blog ALL week, but have been too busy "trying" to study (key word TRYING).  It has kinda been hard to study with a fast crazy lil crawling on the move!

One day this week, he got into the magazine/newspaper rack, and by the time I saw it, I just left him have fun and too it as a photo opt!  He LOOOVED it, and has started to cheese for the camera when he knows he's up to something!  :P

"Look what I've done MOM!"

Tearing right through it like it's not even there!

And then one day...he spit up on his shirt so I let him run around like this, and just thought he was took cute!

"I love being outside!"

"HEY MOM!"

This is really what I've been doing all week!  We ventured outside for a little bit one day to change things up a bit, but it got hot pretty fast!  So glad finals are over, and no more school for me till June!

...the end of our week!

Thursday SOAT (Stuck on a Truck) started & of course I was there!  DUH!  I didn't get to go ONE time last year, but every year before then, i was there as much as I could be!  Me and my friends from HS have such GREAT memories under this tent!  What makes us so crazy about sitting there watching people stand there with there hands on a truck for up to 98 hours...not sure, but its SO MUCH FUN!  Anyways...I made sure we were there for the start of it this year, and Ryder got to experience his FIRST SOAT!  We met Nick up there...(another SOAT lover) for some fun and food (Christian Chicken)!!

Not the best pic, but it's all I had!  (The guy in the navy & baby blue polo in the background is the winner from last year--92 hours & 44 mins!)

Friday was Uncle G's 17th birthday and his sweet girlfriend as me and mom to unlock his car Friday morning so she could put some stuff in there, because she wasn't going to be able to see him at all that day!  HOW SWEET!  Here's some pics @ what she did...& the parrot is for GARRETT--it rhymes!  ha!

She buckled him in the front seat!  & some YUMMY chocolate cupcakes!

She did the backseat as well with a poster that said "In one year...you will be able to vote!"  "In one year you will be able to buy a lottery ticket!"  "In one year you will be required to sign up for the draft"  Etc...it was so cute and SWEET!

Ryder loves his Uncle G! (& his cell phone!)  I know Ryder will always look up to Garrett and his friends for many many years to come!

We have had TERRIBLE weather here, and I was afraid Ryder wasn't going to get to go to his first Toad Suck Daze!  :/  It finally cleared up about 2:30 and I called Dell, and said LETS GO!  So we loaded up and headed down town!  Even though it was so hott and humid, we had a blast!  And again..so many allys, streets, parking places, booths, rides, streets, tends hold SO many different memories of the TSD in our past!  Ha!

I know it says "FROG" but you can't really find "TOAD" stuff right?  I bought this last year @ Belk and knew Ryder would be a/r 9 months old a/r TSD, and it ended up fitting great!  I was so glad I got it for him!

The back...HOW CUTE!?

Ryder with his Aunt Dell after we went to a changing station!  HOW NICE!?  & WH O KNEW?!

Punkin', me and Dell in front of SOAT!  (NOTE:  52 hours 40 mins)

& look who else we found!  Ms. Abby Turner!  It was so good to see her & hopefully I'll get to go see her compete in Miss Arkansas this summer!

This next week should be pretty good...three finals and I am done with school till JUNE!  WAHOO!  

NEW week!

So..I made it through the dreaded day.  It wasn't as bad as I was prepared for it to be, but it wasn't easy.  I'm just glad it's over.

Here is Punkin' and I before church on Sunday in the car. Do you not just love him in his pink polo!?  :P

So glad I got a smile out of him!

He loves to window watch!

This weeks been pretty chill.  Monday was Pops & Aunt Amanda's Birthdays!  We cooked dad dinner (Spaghetti and meatballs, salad, bread & some strawberries and Ed's Bakery chocolate pie for dessert!)  We went to watch the church softball team after dinner.  A few guys in our small group our on the team. It was surprising COLD...but all together fun!

I had my last night of night "class" Tuesday night and Ryder went and spent some time with MiMi & PawPaw @ Aunt Kay's house!  I think they had a good time!

I had my last day of class this  morning, which I am so thankful for!  It seems like the semester FLEEEEEEW by though!  We have just been hanging out at the house today and even went for a little walk in this pretty weather earlier!

He loves his tooties!

He's laughing @ me...haha!  I LOVE HIM!

He is so much fun @ this age!

tomorrow.

tomorrows the day that every newly weds supposed to look forward to.  i looked forward to it for about 2 months and that was it.  then i started to dread the day.  then i started to dread the day even more.  i have been absolutely dreading the day of tomorrow for the past 4 months.  tomorrow is supposed to be a happy day for me.  a celebration.  a celebration of the commitment of two lives becoming one.

there will be no celebration tomorrow.  there will only be sadness and a harsh reminder of hurt & betrayal.

i used to be all about dates, and now i wish i wasn't.  i wish i could just forget dates now, but i can't.  dates of important things always stick with me, and i wish they didn't.  i wish i could forget them and never remember them again.

i used to be able to stalk wedding photography website for hours on end.  its not longer a pleasure for me.  it just causes me hurt and pain.  so many things have been taken from me, and this is only one....one simple thing.

i haven't been to a wedding since.  i used to love going to weddings.  i use to notice and soak in every tiny little detail.  i don't care any more and i wish i did.  i don't care because it hurts to bad to care.  if i care its just a reminder.

tomorrow is a day that i will never "get over".  tomorrow is a day that i will just have to learn to "get through".  maybe it will get easier with each passing year.  but it's still a day that will always make me reflect back on many memories and images that i'll never forget.  sometimes i wish i could forget those too.

looking back, they were happy times.  very happy times.  i was happy.  i really was.  what could i have done wrong?  what DID i do wrong?

i hoped things would  have been over by tomorrow.  but there not.  im afraid they've only just begun.

i write this for myself.  not for a pity-party to be thrown for me or anyone to feel sorry for me.

i'm trying to be more open (to an extent) and honest on here.  i seem pretty happy and cheerful most of the time(which most of the time i am and i can thank a beautiful little baby boy for that), but there are times when i am hurting so bad too, and just sit here and wonder "why me?"

i hope to look back on this one day as a stronger person who has "gotten through" year by year.  i hope that one day tomorrow will be just like any other day.  not a "date" that i can't seemed to forget.

it's may be pretty farfetched but, maybe i can be an inspiration and a "hope" to someone else out there that is faced with something like i've been faced with.  it's not easy.  i knew it wasn't going to be.  sometimes i think it gets easier, but a lot of times it gets harder.

i'm done now.  maybe my writing and venting will help get me through the day.

Dr.'s Appt., Hobby Lobby & Avocados!

I woke up yesterday with one of my crazy throat things going on, and knew I HAD to get into the Doctor THAT day, or I would be back at the ENT getting it drained in a few days.  UGGGH.  This is my worst fear, seriously.  Luckily they could get me in @ 9:30.  I rushed around getting me and Punkin ready & we made it there on time!

        

Being a good boy while mommy talked with the Doctor.  He really was good the whole time!  What a blessing!

Since we were already out we headed to Hobby Lobby to get some stuff for a group project I was doing.

        

   He LOVES Hobby Lobby can't you tell!  =)

We had some avocados in the fridge, and I decided to cute them up and see how Punkin did with them. He had some the other night, but I had given them to him...but he did great picking them up & putting them in his mouth....and seemed to like them too!?

Going for it...Got it...

& into the mouth--SUCCESS! 

While I sit at my desk and get stuff done on the computer, Punkin likes to make his way under my desk and look outside/get into the trash.  Here he is being sweet!  When ever I look at him, he griiiiins and says "AAHHHH!"  Too adorable!

(Ignore his snot!--bugs me to death, but it can't always be wiped!)

check out that big toe...and all the other toes curled under!  HAHA!

He loves his mommy & his mommy loves him!