what i've learned about/from relationshps

I don't know everything about relationships, but I have learned a few things over the years.

There are a lot of important pieces of the puzzle that are required for a relationship to work...and I've learned that when you have one of those pieces, it's not always worth it to hang on to the relationship because of that one amazing puzzle piece.

I've learned that it's better to be single, than to be in a relationship that has a couple of the right pieces, but not all of them.

I've also learned that you are NOT ready to be in a relationship, until you are completely OK and happy with being single.  If "being in a relationship" is something that you think about all the time, and completely consumes your thoughts, your probably not ready to be in a relationship anyways!  

Being treated like a "princess" is every girl's dream.  For her man to give her everything (emotionally & materialistically) she ever wanted and more.  For him to be constantly thinking about her and how he can make her happy.  I've been in relationships like that before.  Relationships that if I would have stayed in, I could have probably had anything I ever wanted...and more.  The perfect house in the perfect neighborhood, all the vacations I've dreamed about...and that Suburban full of kids I've always wanted.  But, would those "things" be what would ultimately make me HAPPY.  Absolutely not.    

I could have taken those couple pieces of the puzzle that would have made me some-what "happy" and ran with it.  But luckily I saw that some of the other important pieces of the puzzle, were missing.  All of those "things" would make me look happy on the outside, but they sure wouldn't make me happy on the inside.

Sometimes it's so hard to LET GO.  And...it's even harder to let go of GOOD THINGS.  Things you've always wanted and always dreamed about.  It's even harder to let go of those good things when there isn't particularly anything "bad" that is pushing you away...

Also...I've also learned that as women entering into a relationship, we are to accept that man for who.he.is.  It isn't our job and shouldn't be our goal to change him into who WE want him to be.  That's just now how it works...and it's not even worth the try.  You shouldn't want to be with someone who you want to change.  That doesn't even make sense.  If you want to change him, then you don't need to be with him.

Same for vice-versa.  If he wants to change you...you don't need to be with him.  I've sadly watch this happen to too many people and  

A man's words to a woman he loves and wants to be with should never be degrading.  It's one thing to think certain things, but it's a whole different story to say them out loud.  Words may not seem like something that is "damaging" because the damage can't be seen with the visible eye.  Just because he isn't making marks on you physically, where other people can see...doesn't mean he's not making marks on your heart.  If he's making marks on your heart, then it should be good marks not bad ones!!!

I could go on...but I'll stop there.  I'd love to hear different things that YOU'VE learned about and from past relationships!  We all have different paths and different relationship experiences.  I've found that I've learned more from living through MY relationships, rather than learning things from my friends' relationships.  We all have to make our OWN mistakes and learn from them, I guess you could say!     

obedience

The past couple of weeks, R has really struggled with simply obeying me.  We talk about it, and we talk about it and we talk about it.  But it's one of those things I feel like we have to talk about it so often, that he just listens to me do my talking and doesn't really take it all in.  He knows what he is supposed to do, but as a 5 year old full of life, it is just SO much easier for him to do what he wants to do!  Isn't that true for all of us?!

One night laying in bed, I just wanted to cry thinking about the lack of Ryder wanting to simply obey me.  It wasn't even over anything big, nothing life changing.  Just simple things like "brush your teeth", "put on your shoes", "close the pantry door"..."get in bed."  He can do all these things, but instead of doing them when I ask him to...he is doing them when he feels like doing them!  So frustrating and aggravating as a parent! 

He is always telling me, "Mom...I love you."  This makes my heart so happy and it is probably something that I take for granted more than I should.  I tell him all the time that I hope he never stops telling me that and I pray that he always feels that way towards me, even when I do something that doesn't particularly make him "happy".  

On this particular night, he had told me he loved me right after disobeying me (not doing what I had asked him to do, when I asked him to do it).  Before I even realized what I was saying, I said, "Ryder, I know that you love me, but a one way to actually show me you love me is by obeying me."  

Ummm...wow, Kati.  Where did that come from?  & can't you relate?  how is that any different than obeying our Lord to show Him that we love Him?  It's not!  It's the exact same thing!

The way my heart aches when Ryder chooses not to obey me, is the same kind of heartache that God has for us when we make the choice not to obey Him.

Being a parent can give you a whole new perspective on the love our Father has for us, and this is just one of those many ways.  

While I'm struggling to parent Ryder, I am at the same time learning how to love my Father.  

Obeying Him is loving Him.

When we obey God, we are showing our love for Him.  Obeying Him and loving Him are tired together.  

Our obedience to Him is also built on what He wants to give and bless us with.  He wants to bless us, but He always wants us to obey Him.

Just like when Jesus told Simon Peter to "Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch."  Simon Peter had been fishing all night and hadn't caught a thing, BUT he obeyed the Lord and let down his nets...in obedience of the Lord. 

Then what did Jesus bless Simon with?  Nets so full of fish that his nets were breaking!

This is just one of many examples of how He wants to bless us, when we obey Him!    

I am so encouraged by this message, and I hope you can be too!  

When we choose to obey Him, we become more intimate with Christ and are drawn nearer to Him!  So much goodness!

my verse for [2015]

It was during my She Reads Truth devotional for Christmas Day (that I didn't actually get to until the day after Christmas..) while I was reading through Psalm 46:4-11 that I read this verse.  It's one I've read many times before, but this time it was different.  I knew it was going to be my verse for 2015.  I feel like there are a lot of strings attached to this verse that can lead us into so many different directions and different aspects of our life, in which we can apply it.  

In this day and time, we rarely have time to "BE STILL".  With every day house hold things that have to get done and taken care of, all the school stuff you have to remember to do, and everything I have to do to succeed at my job (outside of the 8-4) and then on the rare occasion I might want to try and relax and live a little, it's hard to find the time to just be still!  Oh...and then there's this thing that seems to be attached to so many of our fingers called a smart phone, that rarely allows us to even think about the act of being still.  And...that's where I want things to change.

I want to be still and sit down and watch a whole movie with R without checking my phone, or worrying about changing the clothes out from the washer to the dryer.  I want to be still and sit on the floor and play Paw Patrol with him (even though I never really learned how to "play").  I want to be still and go on more bike rides and walks with R even if it's too hot or cold out.  I want to be still and sit down to actually eat with R instead of feeding him first, and then making my meal and usually not even getting the change to sit down to eat with him because he is already done.  I want to be still and sit down to actually read a book that's just for fun!  I want to be still with the ones that I love most. 

We don't always have to be out doing something just to "do something" or out spending money just to be "spending money".  BE STILL Kati!  

Those are all worldly things of "being still", but what about all the spiritual aspects of being still?  Being still and spending time with our Savior.  Being still and listening to Him.  Being still and talking to Him.  Being still and being in true awe of Him.  

I want to be still so that I can allow myself to hear Him, to see Him working in my life, to make myself more mindful of following Him, and to allow myself to fall more in love with Him.  Oh, how I would be more aware of these things if I would only be still! 

But we can't forget the rest of the verse.  He will be exalted among the nations AND the earth.  That day is coming y'all!  He said He was going to come to the Earth and He came!  He said He was going to die and He died!  He said He was going to raise from the dead and He did!  He said He's coming back some day...and HE IS!  Until then, we must be still. 

There are endless areas in which I can learn to be still.  Life is a work in progress.  I'm a constant work in progress.  I feel like we can't move forward until we realize exactly how we want to move forward.  This is my desire for moving forward in the days ahead. 

I hope I'm not the only one who feels this way and can work on improving this area of my life!  What are somethings you are going to do in the coming year to try and be more "still"? 

following directions

Last spring, I ended up in the ER one night after having some chest pains.  They were every 10 seconds or so and just wouldn't go away.  That probably wouldn't alarm most 24 year olds, but when you never had the chance to meet or know your dad's mom because she died of a heart attack in the shower at age 52...it's something that know you need to get checked out.

I had never been in an x-ray room before, but that's beside the point.  I walked into the room for a chest x-ray.  The tech was on one side of the room and I was on the other.  The x-ray machine was facing him, and he said, "chest on the wall."  & I stood blankly at him, with my back to the wall (instead of the facing the wall, like he had asked me to do).  He said it again, "chest on the wall" and I continued to just stand there looking at him, like "let's do this"...thinking about what he had just said in my head.  Granted, it was midnight by this time...but it finally hit me and I quickly turned around so that my chest was against the wall like he had asked me to do the first time.  I was obviously super embarrassed at my ability to follow simple direction and apologized for my mindlessness.  Luckily he wasn't super annoyed and just laughed it off. 

It made me step back and realize, that as a teacher...I spend majority of my time telling kids what to do.  Rarely is someone telling me what to do.  I realized that maybe I'm not so good at following directions and it's definitely something I need to work on!  

Since then, my listening skills have improved, but I've still got room to grow. I'm just thankful that I was made aware of one of my many flaws, so that I can take the steps to move forward and fix it.  It's hard to ever fix a problem when you don't even know about it.

I always get so frustrated when my students "don't listen" or "don't follow directions" that are "right on their paper".   And oh...having to repeat myself 15 million times.  That's super annoying.  Especially when one kid asks a question, and I answer.  Then not 2 seconds later a different kid asks the same question!

Saturday, I was in class at local University all day.  I forgot how exhausting it can be to be a student for the day!  Sitting in a chair, listening to instruction and new information all.day.long. can wear you out!  Physically and mentally!  There were often times during a lab, my partner and I would do something wrong, or have to ask a certain question...when oh, if we would have just read the instructions, our question would have been answered, without having to ask the instructor.  How annoying that I did the exact same thing that I get annoyed by my students for doing on a daily basis?

So many times the things that other people do that get on our nerves, are our biggest flaws.  OUCH right?  So...if you find yourself being annoyed or put out by someone else's actions, I challenge you to step back and ask yourself if you are guilty of doing the exact same.  I obviously was.  

I now find myself giving my students a little more grace in the classroom when it comes to "following directions"--because doing that all day long can make obviously make one exhausted and completely worn out!

I still have a lot to learn as a teacher, but I'm thankful I not only get to teach, but that I also get to learn on a daily basis. 

i will rise

I am happy to report back on my Monday that started a little earlier than normal but completely worth it!

I got up and did a day's worth of HW for Beth Moore...& y'all know her HW can be long winded!  Folded a load of laundry and emptied the dishwasher!  AND got out the door by 6:40!   I was feeling pretty accomplished!

Ryder spent his day out at the farm.  He has a new chick named Chickaletta that he just loves!

I obviously wore the wrong outfit and shoes yesterday for our Kickball Tourney Behavior Bash outside!  Luckily I had my tennis shoes in the car and changed right after this!  We had a blast thought and it was a great day to be outside!

I finally got my lil bit back from his Mimi...& we were off to run some errands!  It was the first day of early voting, so we checked that one off the list.

I also needed to get my oil changed...back in my new favorite booties.  I'll admit, I may or may not go to Mr. Quick Lube to get my oil changed just so they'll vacuum out my floorboards.  They cost the same as my dealership and yesterday they took like 5 minutes!!!  That's the kind of service this mama needs!!

This morning was an early morning as well...but didn't get quite as much done but I'm already feeling better about the tasks at home!

Happy Tuesday sweet friends!

change

 I started "Children of the Day" last night by Beth Moore.  I wasn't even sure what to expect out of the study, but I had heard it was in the same format as her James study and so I knew it was going to be good!  But...Beth Moore bringing The Word--how could even of it not be good?!

She opened us up with the backstory of how Paul, Silvanus and Timothy came about being braided together as one.  The three of them came from all different directions and walks of life and by many different choices and decisions, they eventually wound up together...which is exactly where God wanted them.  Those specific choices and decisions from each one of them, eventually lead them to each other.  Very similar to relationships and things that come and go in our lives today.  

Believe it or not, a lot of change has taken place in my life in the last 6 days.  I'm currently not able to talk about it...but let's just say sometimes life is about taking risks in order to get you where you eventually want to be--and that's where I'm currently at!  

During my childhood and teenage years, I was so against change.  I had my friends, in my town...and we had our routine and we were completely happy.  Why would we need to try and make more  or new friends or why would we want to start doing new things when we were perfectly happy doing exactly what we were doing and living life the way we were?---So I lived in fear of change...thinking of it as alway as a bad thing!   

College came around and I finally had the opportunity to see that change doesn't always have to be such a bad thing!  I love routine and am usually pretty dead set in my ways, but over time I have gotten so much better at accepting change and going with the flow of this thing we call Life!

I've also learned that fighting change just makes things even harder and definitely not the way you want to live your life.  

Over the years I've lost friendships...some of them were my choice, and some of them were not.  Once again...the subject of change.  Losing people is hard, and it's even harder when it's people who had been by your side for so many ups and downs in your life.  People who you thought were going to be a phone call away for all the years to come, and then all of a sudden they're not.  Change.

Beth pointed out that these are "remixes" in our lives and they have to take place!  As hard as it is to accept at the time of all the change going on in our lives...it's comforting to know the truth and that His plan is Greater!  So many of our lives are the same'ole 1st edition of a song that we listen to on repeat over and over again--and we never allow ourselves to listen to the remix...not even one time, because we're afraid and are too "scared of change".  I've totally been there and am SO guilty of clinging to that 1st edition of a song!  

But God hasn't placed us here to keep listening to that 1st edition of the song...and if we stay there too long, things are going to get boring and eventually stale and cause us to lose interest all together.

We have to listen to His remix.

I've learned not to be mad or sad about certain "losses"--when we dwell on the being sad or mad about a certain situation, we aren't open enough to see and meet the new and exciting things that He's placed right in front of us! [once again...TOTALLY guilty]  If our eyes are too busy being closed because we are mad or sad, how are we going to notice the new and exciting things, opportunities, and people around us??

"The next person we meet could become one of the dearest people in our lives"--When that moment happens, we don't know at the time they are going to change us forever, but if we are open at the time we met them, we are giving them a chance to change us and maybe vice-versa as well.  But, that chance and that change has to take place.  Once again...I am totally that person who is standoffish, simply because I'm afraid of change!!

Sometimes going on an adventure and accepting that change will break our heart in the process of saying good bye--but we are to let Him remix!!!

I am so thankful for this message!  I will say, I have gotten a million times better at excepting change in my life now that I used to!  It's taken a few life lessons to learn that change isn't always a bad thing, and it will be what you make it out to be! 

I'm not completely sure of what the future holds...but I've done what I can and know it's all in His hands.  Did I take a chance to see change (and hopefully even bigger change), YES!  Is it a bad change?  No.  But it's change--and any type of change is hard (which is probably why I feel a fever blister gearing up!!) but...we are here and I couldn't be happier for all the change that has taken place in my life recently, as well as over the last few years, because all that change had led me to exactly where God wanted and needed me to!  I am SO THANKFUL!   

A journey gone awry could lead to the exact frame of mind God is looking to use.  -This is exactly what happened to Paul, Silvanus and Timothy to draw each of them together.  I can't wait to dig into more of their journey and story together! 

Thanks for reading, and HAPPY FRIDAY FRIENDS! 

change

You hear about the different role a parent takes on when it comes to raising the second child.  With the first, everything is so new and exciting and you can’t wait to do anything and everything with that child...especially when it comes to holidays!--Yes, that was totally me!  And still is to an extent!  

Visits to see the Easter Bunny at the mall and spending $30 on pictures that you are also in because your child won’t dare sit there alone with the bunny---but can you really blame them?!  The bunny’s ears are as big, if not bigger than your child!

Dying Easter Eggs, making them their own Easter basket and spending trips to Target and TJ Maxx thinking of the perfect things to put together to create the funnest basket for them...all so I could take pictures of it...to try and keep up with what everybody else is doing for their kids!

Yeah!  All that is fun and it still is...to a degree!  To be real honest...over time it’s not as exciting as it used to be.  Especially considering you have other “gift basket” holidays like Valentine’s Day where you have to find stuff to get for your child to show that you “love” them.  It shouldn't be this way...even though I am guilty of falling into these buy buy buy holidays just as much as everyone else!  I provide R with everything he needs without these holidays.  I shouldn't feel like I have to go to Target and find something for him for his Easter basket...and I am so guilty of feeling that and I’m not going to let that guilt hang over me any more.  

Also...those Easter baskets aren’t even what Easter is truly about.  Getting your picture made with the Easter Bunny isn’t either, and neither is dying eggs.  It’s so easy for kids to get wrapped up and excited about all those fun things...and my child is one of them.  

Fast forward...Ryder is still an only child, yet I feel like he has turned into the second child poor thing.  Thinking about taking him all the way to LR just to see the Easter Bunny and spend $30 on pictures seems like a complete waste of gas AND time.  I’m doing my best to not remind him of “dying eggs” because he’s done it every year since he was born...even at 7 months old.  I’m praying he doesn't remember that that is “tradition” and asks to do them because I just don’t wanna!  

I’m realizing that it’s okay to not do all these things every.single.holiday!  Life will go on and he will still be a happy child!  If R isn't asking to do those specific things, then I've realized I don’t have to kill myself to try and do those things that are only on a mom’s “check list” of things to do during holidays.  And I sure as heck don’t want to feel the need to do them just because everybody else is doing them!  That can burn a parent out real quick!  I don’t want to do those things just to do them...but only do them because we truly want to and because we truly enjoy them the entire time.  That is when the effort and money put into these things doesn't seem like a big deal, and that is how it’s supposed to be!  

I’m scared to even think about what I won’t do with my second and third born...but we’ll deal with that when we get there!  For now...I’m focusing on what makes us happy and just making memories together, not checking things off of our to do list.  

anxiety--it is real.

Recently I’ve felt a huge amount of anxiety.  I know anxiety is just the Devil telling me lies and trying to get me to believe them.  I know some people don’t believe in anxiety, but if you’ve had it before (about anything), you know it’s real.  It’s not only a mental thing, but can be physically exhausting as well.

It doesn’t happen to me all too often, just usually when I get worked up about something that I can't control.  That something usually has to do with my son.

He’s the one thing in my life that I love the most and I can’t handle the thought or idea of something happening to him.  Even though these are incidents and events that I am just making up in my head, or see being reported about on the news...it still rattles me and drags me down...more than it should.  THIS is when I start to get anxious, and feel the tightening of my chest.  And, I hate it.  

Being a parent is so much more than you even really realize.  It’s not even the late nights, endless responsibilities and cost of having kids that I’m talking about.  I’m talking about the emotional side of things and the unimaginable amount of love that you have for someone that you didn’t even know was possible.  You literally have your heart and soul as a separation of your body out walking around…making their own choices and decisions, vulnerable to the world and everything that comes along with that, either being kind to the kids around them, or not being so kind, getting picked on or doing the picking themselves.  It’s scary and it’s hard sometimes!

I want the best for Ryder, as most parents do...and I want to provide him with everything he needs to succeed and excel in life, as well as be the best that he can be.  I’m sure most parents feel very similar, but sometimes when you think of everything that sits on your shoulders as a parent, it can seem a bit overwhelming and make you wonder how you are ever going to accomplish it all.  Not just accomplish it all, but do it and do it well.  Again...leading to me feeling anxious.  

Choices and decisions that have to be made:

Am I sending him to the right pre-school?  Is he learning the things he needs to be learning?  Is he building friendships the way he should be?  What things should I be working on with him at home?  What concepts is he not fully grasping at school that he could use some extra help on?  Is he going to be ready for Kindergarten?  Do I even know what he needs to know to be prepared for Kindergarten?  Or is he going to be bored in Kindergarten and act out, since he’ll have had three years of preschool and will be six years his Kindergarten year?

Lots of things to think about...but there’s even more!

Am I spending enough time with him outside?  Am I making him hit the ball off the tee enough?  Am I teaching him how to catch the ball the right way?  How is he going to react when he messes up on the ball field for the first time?  How is he going to behave the first time his team doesn’t win?  Am I playing enough games with him? Am I reading him enough books? Are they the right books? Do we talk about Jesus enough?

And….this is just the beginning!  He’s not even in grade school yet!  

I wasn’t an over-the-top worrisome mom when he was little and I don’t consider myself that way now...unless I think about the future in regards to R and when I question my mothering schools and the decisions I’m making in regards to R.  

{Insert anxiety here...}

I think (and hope) all parents feel the same anxiousness that I feel sometimes.  I feel like my anxiety may be a little bit more intense, as to the fact that I’m doing and taking care of these specific things on my own.  (I do have my parents across the street...but you know what I’m saying)  

This world is such a scary place and just thinking about it give me anxiety!  I love life and I love life with my son, but so many times I think, “I am so thankful this is not our home!”

That statement right there is what helps me get over my anxiousness and my anxiety.  Knowing that alone is what gets me through the worries and the fears...it’s what helps me move along.  Without that promise and security I’m not sure how I would get over that hump.  

He has made the Promise to provide us with all of our needs.  One of those needs is Peace and to live without fear...and only he can provide that Peace.  His Peace.  Jesus Calling spoke directly to me today and was exactly what I needed upon dealing with this anxious feeling that seems to keep popping up.  He has planted His Peace in our hearts when we believe in Him, yet we let “weeds” grow in our hearts such as worry, doubt,  selfishness, comparison and even pride.

He is our Gardener and he is trying to kill those weeds and make them go away, but we have to let Him...we have to let Him kill those weeds and believe that He, and only He can...and that He will!  

We have to stop in this crazy world we live in and spend time with Him so that he can shine His Light into us, and spray that Round-Up...and tell those weeds who’s boss!  I need His Light and I need the constant feeling of His peace in my life-and His light is needed on an even greater scale when those weeds try to take over my heart!  When we take time to be in His word and are in constant contact with Him throughout the day, His light will allow the Peace of His presence to flourish and those weeds will shrivel up and disappear. 

I was preaching to myself in this post. It helps to write to learn, and teach yourself. But, I share it with you in hopes that if you are dealing with similar feelings of anxiousness as I am, that it might help you with the healing process as well.

movin' on up

I’m usually a Rhea Lana shopper when it comes to R’s clothes.  Even though I consigned with them this Spring, I never made it out there to shop.  It’s not really worth it to me to going during the week if you don’t make it out there on the first day.  

So...every time I go to Target or TJ I browse the racks of little boy clothes to see what I can find.  I do care about what he wears every day, but at the same time a) he’s a boy b) he goes to school every day and c) clothes are just that...CLOTHES!

I would say that kids’ clothes are semi-expensive but I’ve just gotten used to it over the years.  Yeah it stinks they can only wear it for a season...but that’s just how it rolls!  But I can’t complain because TJ usually never disappoints and a lot of times I’m there, I find great stuff for R(Nike, Under Armour etc.) that’s cheaper than the same things (minus the name brands) at Target.

I knew Target had cute little boy play clothes...which are perfect for R since he is going to school everyday, but if you don’t get them when they first come out then you’re probably not going to get any.  I decided to look around one day when we were running through Targ for something else.  He is still 4 years old, yet 5T stuff is no longer fitting...especially being too short in the torso.  So I knew when buying for this Spring/Summer I needed to go an even BIGGER size.  Well...little boy sizes stop at 5T.  How is this possible?!

{Insert sad Mama tears here.}

So I had to walk across the aisle at Target into the BIG BOY section!  Sizes from ⅚, all the way up to size 18!  I was in utter shock that I was having to shop over there!  I was NOT prepared for it...like, AT ALL!  Granted, he still needs everything in what is now an XS but still--this Mama was strugglin’!!  I’m glad my mom was there to help talk me through it!

Also...I was once again slammed when I looked at the price tag.  I’m used to paying $8-12 for a good pair of shorts...and these were all at least $14.99.  Which if you think about a bigger boy’s pair of shorts, that doesn’t sound too bad--but R’s still semi-little size, sounds like a lot in comparison!

Anyways...I’ll pay what I have to pay to get him the clothes I want him to have, but it was still a shocker.  I am already dreading the teenage days when he actually cares about the brand and looks of his clothes, rather than me just picked out what I want him to wear.  I’m sure he’ll also be growing out of those every six months or so...I guess I better start saving my pennies now!

So new Mamas--you’ve been pre-warned! ;)  Yes it’s fun and cute, especially at the beginning but sometimes it can’t be a bit exhausting!  Unless you have a paycheck just for kids clothes--now THAT would be nice!

legos...

I was going to be the mom who didn’t let their child have a pacifier, because I didn’t want him to have “nipple confusion”.

I was going to be that mom who didn’t let their kids wear cartoon t-shirts because “those are SO tacky”.  

I was NEVER going to be the mom whose child didn’t have shoes on while sitting in the shopping cart at Kroger.  OR the mom whose kid was screaming or crying in the middle of the grocery store.  

No way, not me!

My child was never going to wear cowboy boots with shorts...I mean what mother let’s their son wear that...especially in public, but also in the backyard!?

All of those things and more (that I never thought I would let happen) have happened in my four short years of being a mom.  AND IT’S OKAY!  It is just so funny to me how before we become mothers we think we’ve got it ALL figured out, until we actually become mothers and everything we ever thought or said, is literally thrown out the window!

I am not against having toys in my house, or even toys in my living room out on the coffee table...but each toy does need it’s own place of “rest” and spot to go when it isn’t being played with.  

Since R was little, I knew that Legos weren’t something that I was going to have in my house.  I wasn’t going to buy them for him and I didn’t want other people buying them for him.  That was just TOO many little bitty pieces in my house that I was going to have to be picking up...and we all know that little boys are going to leave them out!  Even if they were only being played with in his room, I just knew that the many pieces would eventually make their way throughout the entire house, causing me to step on one day and say bad words that my son will probably repeat at school.  No.  Legos were NOT going to be apart of my child’s growing up.  He could play them at his dads, or at friends house...or even KeeKee’s house but NOT my house.

As Ryder has gotten older it’s been very evident that he enjoys using his creativity to build and create things whether it’s art projects using different craft materials or putting random toys together to create unique contraptions.  I knew he would LOVE legos if he had them, but I still wasn’t down for him having them (in my house).

Well...Christmas came and he got a little travel pack of Legos.  I hid it from him for a while hoping he would forget about them but he didn’t.  I eventually told him to take them to KeeKee’s and play with them there.  So that’s what he did.  

He was obvious after watching him play with them for the very first time that Legos were something he was going to love--and actually be pretty good at.  I felt guilty as his mom and selfish for holding back on his learning experiences, creativity and fun by wanting a “clean”  or picked up house--which we all know isn’t gonna always be the case anyways with OR without Legos.  

Since then I’ve bought him a few more sets to add to his collection along with some Lego storage boxes I found at TJ Maxx.  Those suckers have helped both of us keep our sanity when it comes to keeping the Legos picked up and all in one place.

I say all this to say that as a parent, sometimes we have to let some things go and allow our kids to dream and succeed in a way we aren’t that fond of ourselves.  Just because I don’t like them or want them in my house doesn’t mean that Ryder can’t have them, grow from them, learn from them and be a more creative child because of them.

I am happy to say that I have changed my mind and the way I feel about Legos.  

As life marches on, I’m slowly learning to Never Say Never.